Recently a couple of my students have asked me the question, “can one be called to be a Pastor’s wife?”.

I find this an interesting question, which merits some looking into. My first thoughts are that there are no specific scripture dealing with the role of the pastor’s wife, but at the same time I understand and believe that it does take a special women to fulfill that role.

So what is that role specifically?

1. She should love God with all her heart, soul, and mind. (Matthew 22:37-40)

I understand that this is the call for ALL Christians, but if one is going to be a partner in ministry, then it’s an absolute MUST that God is a priority.

2. She must follow the call of her husband. (Ephesians 5:22-24)

Ministry is tough! I know from my personal experience that if my wife was not submissive to my calling into ministry, we would both be in for a whirlwind of trouble. But, I believe that when God calls a man into ministry, He calls the whole man, and that includes his wife and his family.

3. She should strive to be a helper both at home and in the church. (1 Timothy3)

The qualifications of a pastor are laid out in 1 Timothy 3. One of the qualifications is for the pastor to “rule his house” well. In order for this to be true, he must have a wife and family that loves and respects him in every area of life.  The pastor who is the “head” of his household will be a more successful leader at church. This means his wife is a helper in the ministry of the home as well as the church. The ministry is a partnership in all areas of life and not just in the home life.

4. She must be a godly example. (Titus 2:3-5)

God has called women to serve alongside their husbands, it is their role to lead by example. A godly women is one who will pray for her husband and family, one who will use her spiritual gifts to compliment her husband, and one who will completely commit herself  to a biblical husband and wife partnership.

Other Thoughts… (based on experience with my awesome wife!)

1. She is Radar

A wife often has this amazing “radar” that they use to sense various things. My wife uses her radar to help gage various things in our ministry. She can sense when I need encouragement, or even when I need prayer or a spiritual kick of some sort.

She also has a radar to help me recognize various things that I often don’t notice.

2. She keeps me Accountable

My wife has an awesome ability to keep me accountable in my prayer life and bible study. She is also one that I count on in keeping me accoutable in my interactions with the opposite sex (that’s where her radar comes in handy).

3. She Completes Me

Okay, so as cheesy as that may sound, my wife really does complete our ministry. She is often the one behind the scenes picking up the pizza for youth group, or organizing my calendar so I’m not doing 500 things on the same day, or using one of her many amazing gifts to minister to others.

Are You Called?

For those who have asked me this question, I guess it now comes down to, “are you called to be a pastor’s wife?”. As I have previously stated, you will not find a specific “calling” within the Scriptures. However, I truly believe that it takes a very “special” and “amazing” women to be a pastor’s wife. One who must be willing to support their husband no matter what and love the Lord her God with all her heart, soul, and mind.

Yes, I do believe certain women are burdened with the heart for ministry and have a special “calling” to be a pastor’s wife.


katie · January 26, 2009 at 7:41 pm

thanks seth. lots to think about and read now. stiil wondering where God is calling me. But its GONNA BE ALRIGHT

amanda · May 10, 2013 at 2:37 am

Hi thank you so much for writing this i have felt that i have been called to be a pastor´s wife in the recent months but i just thought it was a silly idea and girls don’t get called for those types of things but this has helped me i now feel as though it’s not silly and i will continue to pray about and pray that God will help me find the right guy to marry and that i will be able to serve the Lord in the ministry with a man that i will love forever.

Racquel De Guzman · December 3, 2013 at 4:48 am


I’m a pastor’s wife for 15years, my husband died last August of this year.
Can you still call me a pastor’s wife knowing that he is heaven now?
Or will I have another calling?

Thanks and God bless

Juanita Golden · June 7, 2018 at 8:54 pm

I received my call to full-time ministry as a teenager. God just didn’t give me specifics at that time. I met my “preacher boy” in college and God confirmed for me this was to be my calling. My husband lovingly reminds me he is the answer to my prayers! Wouldn’t have it any other way. PS It’s been over 40 years.

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